1.There is no toilet paper on any of the rolls; they are up on the shelf.
2.All the little garbage cans are up on the counters.
3.You try to have a conversation with another grown up and can't think of anything intelligent to say because all you can think of is the theme song to the Doodle Bops.
4.You find presents in your toilet (ie: cars, blocks, coins)
5. When something goes missing, the most logical place to look for it is in the toy box.
6.You open more food IN the grocery store, than when you get home.
7.When you clean house and find like 10(or more) binkies
19.When you find stepped on Cheerios around the house
20.When you are constantly wiping fingerprints off the TV and windows
21.When you know exactly how many Kix you can pick up off the floor in one hand before you pick up one too many and drop them all again.
22.When all the pages of his book are ripped out and on the floor...
23.You are going to bed and tell your husband I'm going to go night night.
24.The cat prefers to stay in the other room
25.You just simply walk through the house and you activate at least 15 toys.
26.When you go into his room at night and trip on a toy and almost kill yourself
27.when you have to keep all the bathroom doors closed because your child has a fascination with the toilet water.
28.When you just cant seem to find a magazine that has pages missing in it
29.when your area rug isn't in the same spot that you last left it.
30.When you cant seem to find the air freshener that was in the wall
31.When you have to put all your DVDs up on a high shelf or they would all be on the floor
32.when you find the laundry basket in different rooms because the little one likes to push it around the house
33.when the blanket your cat sleeps on that is usually on the couch is always on the floor because you son doesn't like it on the couch he thinks it looks better on the floor
34.When you look all over for the TV remote only to find it inside the VCR.
35.When you see a child walking around the house clapping because they put clothes on by themselves only to see its a pair of daddy undies around their neck.
36.When you find a trail of poop on the floor that leads up to a naked baby!
37.When your cabinets are used as a hideout.
38.When your kitchen drawers are used as steps.
39.When you start saying "NO" in your sleep.
40.When you have to put up a sign that says beware of toddler!
41.You refer to yourself in the third person (Mommy...) to company.
42.You call your husband, "Daddy," now instead of by name.
43.There are several unidentifiable sticky substances throughout your home.
44.All your newest CD's have titles like, "Toddler Tunes," "Rockin' Sing Along," or, "Wee Sing!"
(Therefore, impressing non-parents with the sheer magnitude of children's songs you know.)
45.Taking care of your plants includes watering them, pruning them, and removing castaway food items.
46.You find cheerios in your bed and you eat them because you're too lazy (tired) to get up to throw them away.
47.Your dog has gained 10 pounds from cleaning up after meals
48.you have more food boogies etc.. on your body then your child does
49. you find sippy cups with mysterious liquids in them all over the house
50.You think 6:00 is sleeping in.
51.When the remote goes missing, you start by looking in the VCR.
52. You spend hours debating Doodlebops Vs. Wiggles with your husband.
53.You can't walk across the living room without hearing the crunch of goldfish underfoot.
54.Toilet flushes are accompanied by applause.
55.You now allow the cat to eat his food on the kitchen table or counter when he wasn't even allowed to step up there pre-baby.
56.There are no grown-up knickknacks or decorations on any end tables in your house.
57.You get a look of terror on your face when you realize it has been quiet for too long. It's never a good sign and you always find something "interesting"
58.the knobs on your dresser suddenly disappear
59.when you walk into his room and his trash can with dirty diapers are all over the place
60.when there juice stains on his crib sheet
61.when there's clumps of cat hair on the floor from him pulls the cats hair out
62.You make new friends based on how close in age their child is to yours
If there is no naptime, there is no leaving the house.
63.When you are running late for an appt. cause you can't find the car keys that you let her play with last night. You spend an hour searching the house and finally find then in the garbage can.
64.All of your kitchen appliances (pots, pans, spoons...) are now under management of a new owner
65.You have an all-new language and your childless friends look at you like an alien
66.You must keep your bedroom door shut at ALL times or the gremlin will terrorize the computer and act evil kinevil on the bed
67.the front door stays locked or you will have a big hairy stinky dog party in your living room without an invitation
68.when the smell of a poopie diaper is unusually strong...you follow your nose to locate the source only to find your child finger painting on the wall with this "new found substance" in the diaper.
69.You get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and it never fails you step on either a really hard toy that hurts your foot or a toy that makes a really loud noise at 3am.
70.You can't go to the bathroom alone without having either the door opening mid-squat or coming out to a screaming temper tantrum!
71.Naptime now consists of 10 to 15 minutes of crying before sleep.
72.Kitchen chairs are dangerous and if left pulled out child will be on table.
73.You find yourself asking people what they are chewing on.
74.There is a lot of "no" and finger pointing but it is not coming from you.
75.Peepee on the potty makes you more excited then winning the lottery!
76.when you have a stock pile of mac and cheese and chicken nuggets
77.when you have diapers all over the floor
78.when you pet spends most of its time hiding or running for its life
79.when you have a duck shaped blow up tub
80.when you have tiny spoons and forks all i one drawer...
81.when you walk into your office and hes standing on your keyboard
82.When you use an item your child is afraid of (like TMX and Hokey Pokey Elmo) to guard the trash can....
83. When you sleep on the edge of your bed, because someone insist on sleeping with you.
84. When you have 500 toys and they rather play with boxes.
85. When you no longer cuddle them after getting bit by the family cat, because if you didn't pull their tail, they wouldn't have bit you.
86. When your favorite shows contains a yellow sponge and a pink starfish...
87. When you walk through the living room at 3am and step on a hot wheel, fall and bust your ass.
88. When you cant say ass anymore because your toddler will repeat it for the next 3 weeks.